All my life, I have had an absolute hatred for snow. Because I am cold and bitter, here are a list of totally valid reason why winter, and the snow, sucks.
-It's cold
-The snow gets inside every crevice of your clothing
-I have to buy all these winter clothes. They're expensive. I don't like expensive.
-Driving is a miserable experience, and I love driving
-In relation to the last one, winter is literally trying kill you. Don't you dare get in that car
-I can't go for runs outside
-It's cold
-Winter tires cost like $600. Why is that even necessary
-Stuffy noses
-You're always either too hot, or too cold. You cannot master wearing layers, it is impossible
-We all live like vampires because it's dark by 5pm
-The Flu
-It's cold
-Winter clothes always seem to smell bad. Why?
-My cats won't go outside anymore, so winter is even sucky for cats, and everyone loves cats, therefore you cannot love winter
-Gotta shovel that driveway, AND half the road in front of your driveway because they haven't invented snowplows that don't create snow fortresses of impenetrability in front of your driveway yet
-Dry lips. If you don't have lip chap, lets be honest, kissing is just terrible
-I can't feel my face
-It's cold
-I can't longboard
-Ice has turned the sidewalks into a twisted game of real-life minesweeper
-It's really cold
Do I need to go on? No.
Winter is terrible, and we should all just stop what we're doing, and hibernate.
Kyle Jenkins
Saturday, November 23, 2013
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