Headaches.

It really is true that when things go wrong, EVERYTHING goes wrong. But here's the catch, not only are a lot of things not going the way I'd like, but I'm also pressed with a lot of really hard choices right now. Choices that could change a lot in my life.
I've decided to make these blogs brutally honest. Might be a nice release. I don't talk about these things with people, and I don't really want to, so I'll just spew it all out into the internet and whoever reads it, reads it. Here goes.

Things that are bugging me right now: Being the Ex-boyfriend to an Ex-girlfriend who I'm pretty sure I'm still in love with. Finding a good full time job that doesn't drive me crazy. Finding a church with theology I agree with, where I don't feel judged.

Those three things, primarily the first, have been absolutely ripping me up over the last few months. Sometimes it's just suffocating, and I know that God has a plan in all of it, but I always find myself saying, "God, why not now?". I'm learning very quickly that the Christian life (been saved only 4 years) is not easy and it's not a feel-good solution to every problem in life.

Oh yeah, my car is on the verge of death again and isn't really fit to drive, but I have no other means of getting around. So... yup. Pretty frustrating.

A job opportunity just came up, and I can't figure out whether to take it on account of all the driving involved, and the money isn't even that good.

I find it hard to "complain", because I know that I'm better off than 90% of society. But sometimes things just suck, and there's not an easy solution, and that sucks too, and it's easy to fall into a pattern of laziness/self-pity. I used to do that, not so much anymore. Now I just get really, really frustrated.
Sometimes it's hard to remember God in the times where the world just wants to kick you when you're down.